awkward [poem]

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I’m awkward
like
really awkward
like the kind of awkward that
answers questions on Tuesday
with a wobbly half smile
but tells you all about high school
over a ten minute break
I pick up buckets of my history
and dump them over your head like cold water
never expecting more than a vague wetness
to linger in your mind when I finally
shut up
I don’t know how to hold back
my all or nothing mouth has no
adjustable dial
to limit the madness
I hope you don’t mind
I hope you find it endearing rather than annoying
that my long rambles entertain you
in their randomness
I swear I’m not making this shit up
this really is my life
three measly decades of odd moments
that sound like eons when I spin their tale out loud
I want you to hear me
to learn my history in the anecdotes I share
but I want to be quiet sometimes too
maybe you can tell me your stories
to fill the awkward silence

-poem by Larissa Lee
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