still [poem]

image

I don’t know who I am
when I’m not loving someone
when my mind doesn’t have that
special person
tucked away on a back burner
simmering
into my thoughts when I least expect it
I’ve always had someone to love
someone to turn my heart toward in the quiet of 2am
I don’t know how to not be in love
how to be free of the
now love and the
I wish love and the
what could’ve been would’ve burned
brighter than the sun
love
I feel so empty
a lost speck of dust
in the infinite expanse of this universe
and I just
I don’t know who I am
without the act of loving someone
I don’t know how to be this kind of free
love is an active thing and yet
I’m just standing here
still

-poem by Larissa Lee
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