Muddled Plans: moving through a weird place

I’m in a weird place right now. I’ve got lots of things moving in super slow motion, so it looks and feels like nothing’s happening most of the time. I know that focusing on one goal at the exclusion of the others will increase the speed, but I’m too indecisive to choose my direction right now.

C’est la vie, I’ll figure out a plan eventually!

My Etsy is going on hiatus after the holidays. I say “my” Etsy, because I’m the only one putting any money into it at the moment (via posting fees and shipping costs). I’m also the one who has the most stuff, as well as sales, so far. I figure I’ll leave the shop up through the holidays, giving it the chance to earn a bit more that way. However, after Yule I think I’ll put it on vacation while I revamp and figure out where I want to take it. I might hand over the name (and related email account) to my co-owner, since it fits her eventual goal of an apothecary better than the odds-n-ends I’ve created.

My YouTube isn’t moving forward, but it isn’t moving backward either. My computer is useless for video creation or editing; in fact, it’s useless for just about everything! I’ve purchased a window mount for my phone, so I can use its camera to record vlogs. I’m currently undecided on where to start, though; I’m looking into some random weekly vlogging to get myself going, but I don’t want a bunch of mixed junk on the channel before going full-on pagan. I’m working on a happy medium, which is why I haven’t recorded or posted anything since I opened the channel in the first place.

I want to write! I’ve been making myself read ebook after ebook (from my huge collection of freebies), and it’s gotten me wound up. I haven’t written a story in ages, and I can feel my muse uncurling herself from the corner I unintentionally tucked her into. I’ve read the good, the bad, and the ugly, and I look forward to joining the fray. Knowing myself, though, I’m going to start with revamping an old story of mine (from high school); the plot is great, but it’s not very well-written or descriptive. I’ve developed a distinctive voice since then; rereading my early writings makes me snicker!

My blog has taken a backseat for various reasons. Between a higher workload and lending out my laptop, I just don’t have any time (or place) to write a blog post; I’d have to swype it on my phone, which is a nightmare! So I have half a dozen drafted post ideas, but this is the first one I’ve focused on long enough to complete.

I’ve got some fitness goals at the moment, and they’re the most active (haha). I’m starting Couch-to-5K, a running program that helps you develop running strength from the ground up; it was my idea, inspired by a couple of YouTubers I like who have used it before to jumpstart their fitness plans. We’re fixing up our garage too, making space for our weights and such. I’m not setting a weight goal at all; instead, I’m just going with the flow and planning to follow the program to completion. Eventually, I’ll be able to run 5K without dying! That’s a good enough goal, though I’ll surely lose weight along the way.

As a side note, I’m still trying to conceive. I don’t write about it much, because each month is a weight I’m tired of carrying. It’s been eight months, and I’ve been more focused on praying for regular cycles than anything else. Birth control is wonderful, but it comes with a high cost after years of use; my body doesn’t remember how to woman.

All in all, I’m walking the line between action and inaction right now. Everything’s still in mind, even if it’s not at the forefront.

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