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prism [poem]

I love people for the littlest things
the kind smile of an old man
hobbling by with his cane
the innocent questions of a little kid
who’s never seen bright green hair before
the snarky mouth of another cashier
as she makes me laugh
love is beautifully diverse
a range of gentle pastel interest
to deep jewel toned passion
I live for the rainbow effect
of loving a little bit of everything each day
call my heart a prism
in the light of each new day
I will always love in an explosion of color

-poem by Larissa Lee
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loved in pieces [poem]

there was the boy who loved my body
but only tasted me with his teeth
the boy who loved these writer’s hands
but never wanted to be a character in my stories
the boy who loved the home inside this heart
big enough for him to crawl into
there was the girl who loved my shadows
but cast no light to see them
the girl who loved my constant loyalty
but wanted nothing of being loved so thoroughly
people have always loved me in pieces
crumbling away so much of me
to find only the parts they liked the taste of
I might spend my entire life
looking for a collector
someone who wants to love the complete set
the entirety of me

-poem by Larissa Lee
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an unremarkable life [poem]

AN UNREMARKABLE LIFE

I believe in the pleasure of living an unremarkable life
the comfort in being
a familiar face to small town people
but a stranger to the masses
there’s a tender ache in remaining quietly present
in everyone else’s moment
willing yourself invisible or at least a bit blurred
when people talk about
what they want to do with their lives
so few embrace this humble act
of simply existing day to day
we’re taught from a young age that
we’re the main characters of our own stories
it’s hard to accept
the idea of being a background character instead
but god
if you paid attention
you’d know just how relaxing it is to have no plot
no story arch to fulfill
I get to experience each day as
a lazy summer afternoon with no scheduled plans
my choices are insignificant ripples
my voice is just a quiet whisper
among the cacophony of shouted words
my shoulders hold up only my own
weighted expectations
not the world
I’m free

-poem by Larissa Lee

advice to 30 year old girls who aren’t ready to woman [poem]

when they tell you that you’re a woman
not a girl
stick out your tongue and
say not today
don’t grow up yet
when they tell you to get rid of that
stupid teddy bear
if you want to find a man
ask them what kind of man is afraid
of sharing space with a stuffed animal
tuck yourself in at night with your furry friend
and feel absolutely no shame
don’t grow up yet
when they tell you that juice boxes are for little kids
with sticky fingers
stab your straw into the box
not up their nose for being in your business
slurp down the sugared drink and
say you like the taste of childhood
don’t grow up yet
when they tell you that cartoons
are for immature minds
as are video games and young adult books
roll your eyes before turning back
to level up your archer
say you like being a hero sometimes
from the safety of your couch before bedtime
don’t grow up yet
when they tell you that real adults
get real jobs to buy real cars and pay real bills
ask them when your real dreams get to come into play
remind them that real lives are really complex and
imagination is part of the bigger picture
don’t grow up yet
when they tell you that you’re too old
to keep faking your innocence
say you know they’re just mad and
it’s not your fault they made the naughty list this year
let the twinkle of amusement in your eyes
be a beacon to those who are
looking for something sweet in a bitter world
you are all sugar on the inside
you not so little girl
just be careful
and don’t grow up yet

-poem by Larissa Lee
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first class ticket [poem]

they say that a person who’s contemplating suicide
will often start giving away things they once held dear
a favorite hat
a beloved stuffed moose
a ring from their great grandmother
if you notice the slow seeping of a life’s treasures
through spread fingers
you’re supposed to speak up

so
where were the questions when
I handed out my library book by book
after years of cultivation?
who thought it strange when
I gave away altar pieces like old garage sale junk?
my shirts and blouses
flowy bits of my femininity
were shucked into a bin along with my long hair
chunks of myself tossed out like old garbage
and no one said a thing
if I’d planned a permanent vacation in Hades
the silence was my first class ticket

-poem by Larissa Lee

NOTE: First, know this isn’t a guilt trip poem to anyone who was around when I was depressed enough to make suicidal behavior a concern. This poem is just an outlet, not an accusation.

Secondly, if you’re feeling suicidal and happen across this poem, please ask for help outright. Stranger or friend, it doesn’t matter. Just don’t let silence be the reason you kill yourself, okay?

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I call you love [poem]

I call you love
but you are far more complicated than a lover
you are friend
secret keeper
audience to my stories
when I feel the need to tell them
you are sunlight and rain to my chlorophyll heart
I drink you in
to root myself in living
in loving
you are puppy
kitten
fluffy ball of cuteness
in a world that sometimes overwhelms me
with its gritty reality
you are tattoo
a permanent reminder of who I was
who I am
and who I want to be
you are coffee with the right amount of cream
a touch of sugar
caffeine waking up my weary heart one more time
with a bittersweet kiss on my tongue
you are more than magic
and mayhem
and heartfelt prayer
you are warm sheets and a light on when I get home
you are the last cookie on after long day
you are love

-poem by Larissa Lee
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story [poem]

tell me a story
love
your story
tell me about your parents
how they met in a small town back home
where everyone knows everyone’s business
tell me about the move out west
when your little family started growing
tell me about your brother
and his ridiculous obsession with pogs
tell me about that one teacher
who taught you to dive face first into a good book
just for fun
tell me about your first job
and the realization that money is a troublesome thing
as much of a trap as it is a key to freedom
tell me about the cracks in your heart
and the ones who put them there on purpose
tell me about the cracks you’ve made in others too
tell me about your smallest dream
the one that’s so close just waiting for you
to stand up and touch it
tell me about the fear that keeps you awake at night
maybe our demons
can dance together in the darkness
tell me a story
love
all about you

-poem by Larissa Lee