I need you [poem]

I need you
the way every wounded heart needs a medic
your touch
the only balm that heals me
you are healing me
when I climb down into the darkest caverns of myself
you are the rope that leads back to the light
you are the light
the reminder to laugh at
grey skies and muddy boots and life
you are life
at least to me
because I need you
because I will always need you

-poem by Larissa Lee

hazardous [poem]

did my kisses taste like poison on your lips?
did my racing heartbeat and breathy sighs
sound more like war drums
like angry sirens?
did my scent cloud your senses like a drug
taking away your control
your very breath?
did my touch burn you like acid
etching me into your flesh
a permanent mark?
did you look at me and see the danger
in loving something so uncontrollable
so hazardous to your health?

-poem by Larissa Lee

Orion [poem]

I see Orion in the night sky and I think
this is lucky
that the sky is clear
and the pollution of the city lights can’t reach me here
and this
this is my sign
I see Orion in the night sky
and I think about coming home
the moments I found myself scattered around
my own Milky Way
I think about the long hunt
for that elusive beast known as Happiness
the trail lost and found
and lost again
until finally
I see Orion in the night sky
and I think about life
the constellation of events that made me who I am
that led me to this
all of this
luck is the brightest star on Orion’s belt
shining just for me

-poem by Larissa Lee

a brightly colored pile of disorganized post-it notes [poem]

I was born to be a researcher
my mind cooperating in the strangest way
after learning a fact or function
I can recall the details if given context
it made fill in the blank and multiple choice tests easy
but in between I became a pattern seeker
my memory regurgitating random facts
in relation to whatever situation I find myself in
creating weird little thought trains
it makes me sound smart
like I’m a collection of encyclopedias
when my brain is more like
a brightly colored pile of disorganized post-it notes
the greatest skill I’ve developed
is the ability to do a search based on a tangent
a string of words I think might be a quote
and find the source within minutes
I was born to never stop learning
and I’m pretty sure I never will

-poem by Larissa Lee

nightmares [poem]

I had a nightmare once
that I was chased down by a rabid dog
I woke up scared
my mind flitting back
to the first time a dog really did corner me
with angry teeth and a vicious growl
it took years for me to move past my fear
to learn not to flinch at a dog’s bark
I had a nightmare about drowning
after falling from a bridge
my arms heavy and unable to bring me back up for air
I awoke with the sick sensation of being out of control
suffocating in my own skin
I’ve always avoided tight spaces and deep water
there was a nightmare that had me embarrassed
as a trusted friend spilled my everything
to strangers for an easy laugh
I woke up red in the face
and almost afraid to tell anyone my secrets
to trust someone deeply enough
to willingly become so vulnerable
my nightmares have always played off my fears
like nightmares do
reminding me through subliminal messaging
that I’m careful for a reason
maybe that’s why I dream of you sometimes
because being loved and then let go
is a recurring nightmare I can’t seem to escape

-poem by Larissa Lee

red [poem]

I’ve always hated the color red
the way is screams
don’t move
a violent demand for stillness
when the same color rushes through our veins
without pause
every second until we’re dead
has its own shade
but red has other attributes I hate
red is the color of failure
of being wrong
red ink oozing across essays like
angry slices across skin
we see red too
when rage swallows up our logic
until reason is a distant memory and
violence becomes the only goal
I read once
that your favorite color is just
the frequency of light you’re missing
maybe that’s why I hate red
because green is my favorite color
the opposite of red in the color wheel
maybe I’m just too full of red to stomach myself

-poem by Larissa Lee