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Persephone girl [poem]

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I’m a Persephone girl
half spring maiden
half goddess of death
on long walks through the woods
I like to smell wildflowers and collect old bones
I’m always between
always half out of step with normal life
like I ate too many pomegranate seeds
and I don’t get to be normal until the hot season
the time when I bitch and moan and melt
with everybody else
I like being a shadow chaser
my heart held safe in the cool hands of Death
His darkness my shelter from too much living
depression’s mine too
here to remind me that each breath is a gift
I’ve chosen not to return unopened
and yet
my laughter is infectious and frequent
bubbling like youth’s spring from my lips
because this too is my life
eternally adorable
the smile of spring’s first blooms
and a promise of future fruits

-poem by Larissa Lee
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you must be a reader [poem]

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you must be a reader
to love me the way you do
there are things you can only learn in realities
where love is magic and magic is everywhere
words will guide you
storytellers you love will clear the path
between us
it’s easy to love a reader
references flowing back and forth between us
books trusted to one another
like previous treasures
when I hand you a poem
or point you to a favorite story of mine
I’m saying
here’s a piece of me
wrapped in pretty words and colorful imagery
trace your fingers over my heart
and memorize this sweet chapter we’ve started

-poem by Larissa Lee
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part time lover [poem]

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loving me is a part time position
benefits include
flexible hours
limited responsibility
and an amazingly diverse meal plan
I don’t want you around all of the time
I don’t need a keeper
or a pet
we can meet up whenever there’s a bit
of time to spare between our two busy lives
I don’t want you to fix my depression
or raise my self-esteem
I don’t need a therapist
or a live-in psychologist trying to
piece me together
our time together will buoy my spirit
like a good time should
or we wouldn’t be here right now
I love to cook
exploring the world with the tip of my tongue
I’ll invite you along if you’re game
but I don’t need you there
I can enjoy a new dish without you
this is what is means to be my part time lover
I don’t need you
to fill a full time position in my life
but you’re welcome to play a part
in my bigger picture

-poem by Larissa Lee
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to the woman who would love me [poem]

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sweetheart
I’m sorry in advance
for the trouble I’m going to put you through
if you find yourself at my door
love a beautiful blossom between us
then you need to know why I’m allergic
to loving a good woman like you
I grew up loving girls
a fluffy kind of love that sows friendships for a lifetime
or at least it tries to
I never really wanted another woman though
never saw myself sweaty and breathless
with that earthy kind of love
until her
for the first time
I found myself drowning in another woman’s ocean
thought I could link our hearts
a beautiful constellation
but she didn’t want my love like that
instead
she offered me the role of her friendly little whore
I just had to remember to keep my heart locked away
to leave hers alone wherever it rested
she burned me bad
obviously
left this fear of loving women in her wake
you my dear
have an uphill battle to reach my skittish heart
I can only hope you don’t give up
before you reach the top

-poem by Larissa Lee
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on loving my anxious heart [poem]

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I hate to say it love
but you’re going to need the patience of a saint
because loving me will suck
sometimes
my damaged pieces are all glued back together
but I’m still lost on the darker days
I still feel hollow and unworthy
sometimes
there are too many scars
I can’t ignore the way it stings
when I get too comfortable
my anxious heart
looking behind every word for a catch
treating every person as a liar
sometimes
it’s so automatic
I don’t even realize I’m doing it until
I can’t breathe for wanting reassurance
that this is real
that you’re still here
that I am lovable
sometimes
if you say it loud enough
I might even believe it

-poem by Larissa Lee

I can’t wait to meet you love [poem]

when you and I meet
love
it’ll be uneventful
we’ll bond over something silly
like Marvel movies or our favorite coffee place
you won’t realize it in that moment
that I’m going to matter to you
and that’s okay
it really is
love at first sight is intense and wonderful in its own way
but I won’t want that from you
you’ll catch on
after you spend enough time around me
and my adorable weirdness
I’ll quickly become that friend you can’t really explain to others
some stories about me
will sound like Plain Jane moments
but others will make people assume you’re spinning tall tales
you’ll know from our long and winding talks that
I really did meet a guy who said he was a werewolf
and had a vampire for a friend
and danced naked around a bonfire with dozens of other witches
it just sounds a bit wild out of context
that’s all
you’ll know me page by page
love
because that’s the only way to make sense
of the odd life I’ve led
I’ll find your life just as fascinating
even if you think that living an hour from your hometown is lame
you’ll see how amazing your stories are
to someone who’s only ever had the tsunami and never the calm sea
I hope you fall in love with me slowly
seeing my scuff marks for the texture they are
rather than damage they could’ve been
you’ll love me right
I think
because you’ll get it
there won’t be anything vague in our relationship
not when you’ll be my wife’s friend too
not when you’ll know all about
the polyamory
and the past mistakes
and the reasons I will always love again
you’ll really understand me
and that’s something I look forward to the most
I can’t wait to meet you
love

-poem by Larissa Lee
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from Texas to Washington [poem]

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when I tell people I ran away from Texas
to move to Washington
the first thing they point out is the rain
like how could I stand it
the way water washes over
everything
almost every day
for months at a time
they ask me like that’s a bad thing
like no one’s ever loved the storm
for all its wild beauty
like no one’s ever found solace in the sound
of raindrops on tree leaves
they imagine I must hate the damp
the way nothing ever really gets dry
they don’t listen
I tell them I’m a rain dancer
who’s spent a decade in a dusty bowl
dying slowly in the endless sun
I need water
to fall from the sky
and remind me to breathe
washing away all the dried on sorrows
of living in the wrong place
for so long
yes
I know
Washington is a grey and drizzly place
that’s exactly why I came

-poem by Larissa Lee