Nature has presented the best weight-loss program out there: tastelessness.
Seriously. Nothing has taste.
The barista at the cafe accidentally added a second shot to my mocha. She said she was so sure it would be too strong; she actually started to take it back for a remake. I made her leave it with me, assuring her that I’d come back if it was unacceptable.
My first sip – a hot, creamy liquid with a hint of what might be coffee.
My friend’s sip – OMFG bitter coffee sludge of doom!
I drank the cup without an issue.
Last night, I made honey lime enchiladas for dinner. I have the tastebuds of a three-year-old, so I usually have to eat just two of them under a mound of sour cream.
Instead, I ate three without any toppings.
There was no flavor. It was creamy and stringy, with chewy bits of chicken. But the cheese tasted the same as the tortilla, which tasted the same as the spicy chicken and sauce.
My stomach, however, knew the difference. It was uncomfortable.
Today’s lunch was a ham and cheese sandwich with too much mustard and a squirt of mayo.
It tasted the same as the enchiladas.
Did you know Kitkats have an unappealing level of powderiness in their texture? I didn’t.
The chocolate has the texture of soft wax. The “cookie” is a dry piece of cardstock, and the sugary stuff between the layers might as well have been sand.
I have never been so disappointed by chocolate before.
Ice cream will make you cry.
It’s cold, creamy stuff. That’s all. The blackberry swirls in my special gourmet blend were just added color, and the pieces of pie crust were crumbly bits of dry bread. There was a hint of sweetness.
It was really easy to put back in the freezer.
It’s really easy to skip meals when nothing tastes good. No flavors mean no biases, and you only feel like eating when you’re actively hungry. In my sedentary life, that’s once in the morning and again in the evening (maybe).
That said, I’d really like to taste food again.
Note: I’m being silly-but-serious here. My allergies went insane last week without my meds, and I’m still recovering; in the meantime, I haven’t been able to taste food since last Thursday, and one of my ears has been muffled from inner congestion as well. The taste thing is worse, though, because comfort foods are no comfort if they taste like water/air.